We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
