What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
