Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
two words: eviction party
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
