Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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