I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
