Apparently you make a good broom.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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