I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
