ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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