We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
