Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
