Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize