Christians are straight up FREAKS
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
