how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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