Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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