if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
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WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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