hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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