I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
