people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize