I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize