TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
