I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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