put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize