can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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