Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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