Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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