a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
