should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
