and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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