Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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