woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
