Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
