you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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