God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The power of my boobs compel you
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
