this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
