There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
