one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
babies were throwing up all over the place
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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