Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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