I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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