he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
