so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
