They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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