I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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