I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize