this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
