marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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