There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
