did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize