3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
