my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
True strength comes from lack of pants
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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