It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
