Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize