it was like his penis was on wheels.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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